the first time you thought you loved a boy. the first time you said you wanted a baby,. the first thing you wanted to be when you got older. do you remember your first sleep over? do you remember your first party? do you remember your first teacher? do you remember your first fight? do you remember your first step? do you remember your first breathe? do you remember the days? you know the days when nothing could hurt you more than a scraped knee, and the days mommy and daddy always told you they loved you. and they held you when you cried. when the only people who picked on you were your siblings. when you could just run around in your underwear. when you could take cute pictures in the bathtub(ha). when you could where whatever you wanted and no one cared. when your mother dressed you, and no body would laugh?. do you remember the days where you couldnt make mistakes because there was none to be made? do you remember those days? or did you forget the days that were the best, the days that yu always wished you could be older, the days you couldn't wish tell you had more privaledges, let me ask you this? do you remember how it felt when you first got your heart broken? when you and your mom first faught? when your dad was first disapointed. when your friends turned there back on you? do you remember all that? So, did you make the right wish, do you really think you wanted to be older? or were you just caught up in your own stupidity.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
do you remember?..
the first time you thought you loved a boy. the first time you said you wanted a baby,. the first thing you wanted to be when you got older. do you remember your first sleep over? do you remember your first party? do you remember your first teacher? do you remember your first fight? do you remember your first step? do you remember your first breathe? do you remember the days? you know the days when nothing could hurt you more than a scraped knee, and the days mommy and daddy always told you they loved you. and they held you when you cried. when the only people who picked on you were your siblings. when you could just run around in your underwear. when you could take cute pictures in the bathtub(ha). when you could where whatever you wanted and no one cared. when your mother dressed you, and no body would laugh?. do you remember the days where you couldnt make mistakes because there was none to be made? do you remember those days? or did you forget the days that were the best, the days that yu always wished you could be older, the days you couldn't wish tell you had more privaledges, let me ask you this? do you remember how it felt when you first got your heart broken? when you and your mom first faught? when your dad was first disapointed. when your friends turned there back on you? do you remember all that? So, did you make the right wish, do you really think you wanted to be older? or were you just caught up in your own stupidity.
Thursday, January 14, 2010

something that i learned;
You needa find a guy you can trust, if you can't trust him, you really can't love him,. And there such thing as a second chance but if he keeps messing up and hurting you he really doesn't respect you, and if he tells other what you tell him he really doesn't care about you. and if he asks for sex the first couple times you talk he's using, But if he hurts you once, and comes back to you crying and begging for more, he's a real man. He really does need you. He really does love you. If he keeps your secrets he more than cares about you, he knows whats right for you. If he doesn't ask for sex, he really is in love with you. and if he trys to never hurt you he really does respect you.
something that i wrote,
Why is it, that we hurt the people who love us, and love the people who hurt us. Why is it, we won’t let go of the people who hurt us the most, put we’ll just walk away from the ones who love us?. Why is that life is so unfair, and someone always gets the short end of the stick?. Why can’t everything be fair, and all the sticks be the same length?. Why can’t we stop racism, and sexism and why can’t we just stop being prejudice? Why can’t we just love everyone, and all get along. Why can’t we live our lifes the way we want too, without always being told No? why can’t we just all be friends.? Why can’t people see what they do to other people when they continuously talk shit about them?. Why should it matter if someone is fat or skinny?. Why should it matter, if someone is beautiful on the outside or not?. Let me tell you something some people blame our generation for the way we are today, but they never ever, stop to think about who raised us. The moment you are born, your parents teach you stuff, they can either teach you to love or hate, to succeed or to fail. It doesn’t just so beautiful on the outside people see you are, what counts is what’s on the in side. And do you think being racist, and sexist and prejudice, and judgmental, makes you very pretty? No, I didn’t think so. So if we know this why do we insist on hurting the ones around us? The ones who really care? The ones who would never leave us? The ones who really truly love us? I’ll tell you why, because we’re humans, and we make mistakes.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
it's who i am now,
Everyday i wonder when things will get better i was never happy before, and i'm still not happy now, my heart was broken in a million peices, but than he showed me he really loved me again. i do things i would have never done before, just to feel good. i don't believe i'm beautiful, i think i'm a mistake, and i'm a waste of space on this world. i question God everyday, why he made me this way, why he put here, and yet i never get an answer, thats probally because the answer he wants to give i dont want to hear. i like the things i do, they make me have fun and help me relax, but i know they are wrong. but i'm gonna change so some people accept me, i am who i am i'm me and your you, i'm not trying to change you so dont try and change me. i guess you can say i have really changed sence the beginning of summer 09. you may think it for the worst but i believe that deep down its for the best, i dont put up with bullshit anymore, and i dont get hurt as easily. but hey, this is me, i'm sorry if i've hurten you. but thats it.
Sunday, October 11, 2009

the day you loose me it will be your fault.
i can;t around for you to finally decide you need me or not.
so when i do leave which will be soon.
just hope you have made your decsion.
i dont need people in my life who bring me down
or hurt me, or lead me to believe lies.
i dont need people who dont really care.
i need people who really do love me.
who need me, and will show it.
i'm not selfish i'll give you something back.
you show me love i can show it back.
you show me respect i can show it back.
but if you show me pain, i'm just going to walk away.
Sunday, August 30, 2009

today, was andrea's last day,.
i didnt go,.
im still contagus and didnt wanna get anyone sick
and maybe this was God,
but i'm not upset at all,.
i realy do believe that july 30th of 2009 i got over july 30th of 2008
i will never forget that night that she got tooken away from us,
but thats because that night made such a big impact on who i am today
and so did she
but as they say he gives and take away
God may have taken andrea from me but if gave me the chance to make friend and get close to so many other people
i no longer had her to rely on
to save me from everything i did
so i had to branch out and find someone new
something new
and i found God,
and i found someone who had been there almost all my life beckyy callahan
she is my best friend,
life hands you stuff and you have to choose what your gonna do with it.
like they say when life hands you lemons.. you make lemonade (:
you turn a sour situation into a sweet one.
just remember God does love you and he does have a plan for you
just like he had a plan for me,.
i love youh,.
shelby.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
my purpose.
As i thought about what my purpose in life is i have relized i will never truely know, i have to trust God.
but i believe my purpose in life is to share God's love with everyone
to preech the Gospel with everyone
to love&to care about God's children(everyone).
to love&to live for God.
to mentor&to be mentored.
to respect&be respected
to love&to be loved
to change the life of others..
to show God's light
to not shove the Gospel down peoples throat, but to show it through myself
at the end of my life i want to stand before my God with no talent left and be able to say "i used everything you gave me."
and i know as i grow older i will find more purpose in my life, but until than i am gonna live my life for my Savior.
(Psalm 73:26 says -"My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever:)
but i believe my purpose in life is to share God's love with everyone
to preech the Gospel with everyone
to love&to care about God's children(everyone).
to love&to live for God.
to mentor&to be mentored.
to respect&be respected
to love&to be loved
to change the life of others..
to show God's light
to not shove the Gospel down peoples throat, but to show it through myself
at the end of my life i want to stand before my God with no talent left and be able to say "i used everything you gave me."
and i know as i grow older i will find more purpose in my life, but until than i am gonna live my life for my Savior.
(Psalm 73:26 says -"My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever:)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Sorry
Sorry doesnt fix everything
Sorry can't fix a broken heart.
Sorry doesnt fix your pain.
Sorry doesn't mean anything if you say over and over again
For the same thing.
Your not sorry.
Don't say unless you mean it.
So baby, look me in the eyes and tell me what i wanna hear,
i wanna hear your sorry,
For what you said.
For leaving.
For eveything.
But baby,
i want you to mean it.
Sorry can't fix a broken heart.
Sorry doesnt fix your pain.
Sorry doesn't mean anything if you say over and over again
For the same thing.
Your not sorry.
Don't say unless you mean it.
So baby, look me in the eyes and tell me what i wanna hear,
i wanna hear your sorry,
For what you said.
For leaving.
For eveything.
But baby,
i want you to mean it.
Friday, March 20, 2009
love?
What does love even mean?
The wordmeans nothing
without the action
love is those hugs he gives you
that when it happens you feel invinceable
the kisses you share
where in that moment you feel
wanted
what does love mean?
The word love means
nothing without the emotions
the happiness and the joy
the empitness of when they leave you
love affects everything.
The wordmeans nothing
without the action
love is those hugs he gives you
that when it happens you feel invinceable
the kisses you share
where in that moment you feel
wanted
what does love mean?
The word love means
nothing without the emotions
the happiness and the joy
the empitness of when they leave you
love affects everything.
mirror mirror

i look in the mirror
and it lies to me
it tells me I'm ugly
to fat
or to skinny
my eyes are to squinted
my nose is to big
my hair is to curly
and i believe the lies
i let them get to my head
i start wishing i was beautiful
if only i was beautiful
then maybe they would accept me
thats when i declared eating wasnt for me
people ask me questions
i dont answer
i begin to isolate myself
from everyone
and my emotions get the best of me
the cuts on my arms multiply
the tears fall like rain down my face
i feel so alone
and it all started because of that stupid mirror.
hidden secrets

she all ways was so quiet
See never asked for help
everyone thought she was fine
but they didn't know she was broken inside
they didn't know the pain she had
or even that she wanted to die
she thought no one would understand
she thought no one would even care
she would cry herself to sleep at night
she would get on her knees
and pray to God it would all stop
but it became to much to bare
and she saw Jesus that night
she has been screaming for help
she wants OK
her life was a hidden secret
only God knew the truth
teenage love
Teenage love
You think it will last forever
But it doesn’t
You give him your everything
And he’s already given it away
You have to look at youself in the mirror
You have to see the consenquences
Your stomach gets bigger every day
Its not just you he hurt
You don’t want to deal with the consenquences
You just want to get rid of it.
You wish you were pure again
But there is no rewind button in life.
You don’t know how your ever gonna make it through eachday
But you do it for the little beating heart relying on you
Everyone talks
But your friends know the truth
They even tried to warn you
But of course you didn’t listen
You wanted it to last forever
But it only lasted till IT was all over.
You think it will last forever
But it doesn’t
You give him your everything
And he’s already given it away
You have to look at youself in the mirror
You have to see the consenquences
Your stomach gets bigger every day
Its not just you he hurt
You don’t want to deal with the consenquences
You just want to get rid of it.
You wish you were pure again
But there is no rewind button in life.
You don’t know how your ever gonna make it through eachday
But you do it for the little beating heart relying on you
Everyone talks
But your friends know the truth
They even tried to warn you
But of course you didn’t listen
You wanted it to last forever
But it only lasted till IT was all over.
hate will be love
When we all join together
To make things better
Hate will be love
When we realize we’re family
In Christ
Hate will be love
Its hard to know when
Its hard to know why
But when I pray to you
I know hate will be love
God show me the way
I keep on searching
Making wrong turns
Making wrong decisions
Help me find the way
To that day
That hate will be love
To make things better
Hate will be love
When we realize we’re family
In Christ
Hate will be love
Its hard to know when
Its hard to know why
But when I pray to you
I know hate will be love
God show me the way
I keep on searching
Making wrong turns
Making wrong decisions
Help me find the way
To that day
That hate will be love
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